domingo, 20 de julho de 2008

Eu ainda faço o post prometido {sorriso simpático aqui}

Eu iria escrever algo engraçadinho a partir de uma idéia da minha irmã Rebeca Carolina (sou vilã mas seu valorizar as pessoas xD), mas não estou muito no espírito engraçadinho hoje. Aliás, quem me conhece sabe que não faço o estilo engraçadinho (tá, tentarei não escrever mais engraçadinho/a e afins).

E me pergunto agora por que escrevo. “Qual é o real motivo, Vilã?” Não sei a resposta.
Talvez seja influenciada pela leitura de outros blogs (alguns, por incrível que possa parecer, me fizeram refletir);
talvez por me sentir em dívida com o blog;
talvez pelo ócio de domingo;
talvez por estar ouvindo Zeca Baleiro;
talvez pela tristeza que me invade (confesso: não estou bem);
talvez por sentir um vazio;
talvez por pensar que “tempos difíceis estão por vir”;
talvez por me sentir de saco cheio de tudo;
talvez por nada;
talvez por tudo;
talvez por todas as razões acima.

Só tenho certeza pelos dois motivos abaixo:
1º argumentos de O Lerdo sobre por que escrever num blog;
2º seguinte comentário do responsável pelo blog Brócolis X: "Bom, Agamenon reclama que só têm 17 leitores; eu continuo escrevendo para ninguém, isso nem de longe me fere, tampouco me faz parar."

Daí, vi que preciso expor de alguma forma o que sinto. Talvez esse blog não seja o veículo indicado, ou talvez sim. Verei com o tempo. Verei qual será a sensação de me expor. Será que gostarei?
Engraçado (desculpe!) mas não gosto de falar de mim e quero fazê-lo, e não sei por onde começar.
Contarei algo que aconteceu no domingo insosso e que me fez pensar.

Pois bem, estava eu lendo quando o telefone tocou. Número desconhecido. Uma voz de mulher fala:
- Oi, feliz dia do amigo. Eu te amo muito. Você é muito importante para mim. (rindo)
Silêncio de minha parte enquanto tentava raciocinar e descobrir de quem era aquela voz (sou péssima nisso). Até pensei que fosse uma mensagem fonada e talz. Afinal, é (era) dia do amigo.
Eu pergunto, tentando ser simpática ao máximo:
- Quer falar com quem?
Resposta:
- Não credito que já me esqueceste (é, foi esse a pessoa usada e sempre rindo).
E eu pensando mil coisas faço a mesma pergunta outra vez.
E ela responde (aqui já meio cantarolando):
- Com a Francis.
Eu (meio aliviada):
- Não é dela esse celular, senhora.
Ela se desculpa, muito sem graça, e desliga.
Depois claro, ri muito.

Porém, depois de rir muito, me entristeci. Senti um vazio. Não sei por quê (percebeu que não sei de nada né?).
Fazendo minhas as palavras da Interesseira numa conversa pelo msn: sou uma mina indecisa. Porém sou indecisa em relação aos meus sentimentos. Já escrevi uma vez sobre mim: “Sou um amontoado de sentimentos muitas vezes contraditórios”. E não sei o que fazer com eles. Acho que ninguém sabe. {sorriso triste aqui}

Não me interprete mal. Não quero receber elogios, conselhos, muitos comentários. Quero me expor para ver no que isso dá. Hoje sinto uma necessidade de falar, mas não quero conversar com ninguém em particular. Confesso que tenho um pouquinho de esperança que ninguém leia esse rol de bobagens.
Nem estou tentando ser sentimental. Não sei sê-lo.

Acho que preciso de um psicólogo.

Ficarei por aqui, papel (não resisti Huahuahuahuahauhuahua).
Gostei de escrever, apesar de não ter conseguido dizer o que realmente quero. E adivinhe: não sei ao certo o quê.

PS: Um dia faço o post prometido. E já que falei de Zeca:

pra que que eu vou cantar
se você não vai escutar
a voz do coração
deste compositor popular
não não não vou chorar
se bem que eu tinha razão
mas isso não é bossa nova
nem samba-canção
só quero que você
seja minha ouvinte
mas você não me dá ouvidos
então é o seguinte

fiz essa canção só pra você
mas pra quê?
se você gosta só de mpb
e eu sou puro
puro rock¹n¹roll
com meus três pobres acordes
meu bem acorde
venha ver meu show
(fiz esta canção_zeca baleiro)

48 comentários:

jeff disse...

li tudo e adivinhe?
não sei ao certo o que comentar.

A Vilã disse...

Rsrsrsrs

Tá vendo? É assim que me sinto quando alguém fala de si.

O Lerdo disse...

Nuss, que post bonito... (sem ironias, Vilã)

Só não fique triste assim de novo, pois ficarei tão triste quanto.

Leandro Marlon disse...

ia comentar ...
mas já que vc quer isso ...
saiba que eu te ouvi xD
[li, no caso ...]

obs: piadinha para ser engraçadinho, hihi! =] - não resisti!

A Pscicopata disse...

Cade o Chato e a mão consoladora quando se preceisa??

Diego disse...

Tédio U.Uzzzz

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*Mão consoladora em A Vilã*

hUaiouHAOIuHAOiuHAoiuhAOiuHAoiuHAoiUHAoiUHAoiuHAoiUHAoiUHAoiUHAoiUHAoiUHAoiUHAoiUHAoiUHao...

"Ficarei por aqui, papel (não resisti Huahuahuahuahauhuahua)." ---->> esse é o motivo. Sei que ninguém de fora entendeu, mas foi muitoooooooooooooooooooooooo engraçado.
Don't worry. I'm back. Conte comigo. ^^

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